They say "blood is thicker than water", that there's nothing like family, that "you can never go home again". Well, quite frankly, I really wouldn't want to go back to that dreary, awful home that I once knew as a child, filled with tension, uncomfortable silence, and anger.
I'm not saying ch'v that my parents don't love us; they just were too wrapped up in their own interior worlds to be able to convey that love to us as parent to child. They need to be emotionally supported by me, not the other way around. That's the way it's always been, even while growing up "at home". I definitely couldn't make it thought this present quagmire without the help of my dear friends.
My children also grew up in a home filled with tension and anger, but it had laughter and love as well. They actually say that they had a happy childhood. Apparently I was able to contain my grief, sadness, and confusion within myself well enough to be able to allow them to feel loved and cherished - thank G-d!!
On the other hand - that's exactly what makes it so hard for them to understand why the divorce was so necessary, why the home had to be "broken", why life couldn't just go on as it always had before.
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